Day 9: Pepsi Next
Before you call bullshit, let me ‘splain myself. The purpose of this challenge is to try new foods and such that I’ve not yet had, and by definition, I, like most of the world, have not consumed the recently released trial version of Pepsi Next. As a diehard Coca-Cola fan, I can say that my intentions were partially motivated by this challenge and the convenience of free samples in the Compass, but moreso by the continued affirmation that all Pepsi spin-off products are, for the most part, total crap.
Coat-tailing off the recent ‘less is more’ trend that’s the swept soft-drink nation, this beverage gets its hype from the fact that it contains 60% less sugar. Boy, oh boy. Nothing says “Hey! Let me risk wasting $5 on a 12-pack of something I know will probably suck, but is totally going to hit the spot because that less sugar is soooo awesome!” Please. Have you learned nothing, PepsiCo? People are very much of the all-or-nothing mentality. If I want a cheeseburger, I’m either getting the supersized artery clogger Monstertruck 5-layer with twice the FDA-recommended amount of bacon or a salad. Likewise, if I’m getting a soda, I either want my sugar all real or all non-existent. Coke has the right idea. Their signature regular? All the way. Coke Zero? Ba-ba-boosh. Hell, Diet Coke is glorified flavored water, and you can ask my two-cans-a-day-for-40+ years Grandfather if he’d have it any other way. 60% is not enough to get even the most health-conscious throats salivating for your sugar water, and not even a swanky new label/name or a free canvas bag can make up the difference.
Some will contend that Pepsi Next really isn’t any different from Pepsi. Fair enough. But those folks are clearly not as concerned with where their money goes for the subtleties in flavor that they so righteously deserve. But hey, we can’t all be adamant about the little things, right? That’s where I come in. When it comes to cola, I’ll be belligerently outspoken so that you don’t have to!
So, where does this latest abomination stand in the grand battle for soda supremacy?